Wednesday, September 7, 2016

That Guy

AUGUST 31, 2016

Twenty years ago today, I went on a date.

Well, actually, I went to a birthday party first. For two little girls I'd only seen maybe a couple of times before, at a house I'd never been to, which was, incidentally, just down the street from the first house I ever lived on Bethesda Road. I only stopped by there to say hello to that guy.

That guy was your Poppa Don. And that house was your Gramma and Papaw Riddle's. 

I felt a little awkward, because I didn't know a soul there, and had only been in that guy's presence only twice before. Aunt Kaytea and Aunt Cassie were celebrating their ninth and sixth birthdays respectively and the backyard was full of a bunch of little kids, back when a bunch of little kids REALLY made me kinda nervous. I was used to snarky, smart-alecky teenagers.

I'd only been teaching at McGehee High School for about three weeks...maybe. First full-time teaching job, ever, and it had been going pretty well until that first really ROTTEN day, the Wednesday before, which would have been August 28, 1996. I'd gotten home that afternoon and that's when I got the phone call. From Liana Sardhinas, the youth director at the First United Methodist Church in Mena at the time.

"I have someone here in my office who'd like to speak to you," she said, in her sing-songy South African accent.

Oh...great...

And instantly knew who she meant. That guy. With the two little girls. That I'd seen a couple of times on Communion Sundays when I made time to go to church and wasn't working at Madd-Ox. The one who I'd found playing my guitar at Vacation Bible School that previous month, who I'd met the very same day Bobby Ashley called to tell me I'd been hired for my first REAL job.

Fate has a way of crashing in us all at once. Just know that, Younglings.

Anyway, it was during that phone call that that guy first asked me out. I don't remember the full conversation, but he'd explained the joint birthday party on the following Saturday afternoon, and that we'd go to Hot Springs that evening. I also don't remember how I knew to stop by Gramma's house but I did do that. Then I had to worry about what I was going to wear. I hadn't been on a date in two years...

Let me backtrack a bit. Yes, there was the Bible School meeting. I was helping Liana with music and that guy was helping with recreation. He came in to the sanctuary and the first thing I noticed was...well, that he was relatively close to my age, and the smile. That big toothy grin and the crinkles around his eyes. Then there was the whole "playing my guitar" thing. Liana told him he could. I did not, but I wasn't there to protest at first. He played better than me, so...well. He tells this story somewhat differently, but does it really matter??

I went back to Memaw and Poppa Bill's house (where I lived at that time, but that was soon going to change) and Memaw asked, "What did you think of Mr. Riddle?"

"Who IS that guy??"

Keep in mind I was twenty-seven years old, with a Bachelor's Degree and working in a grocery store, sacking groceries and scrubbing the bathroom. I'd spent TWO YEARS trying to find a teaching job. Men shunned me because they thought I was...I don't know...some kind of freak...and I felt I'd be forever stuck in MENA, ARKANSAS. Things HAD to get better.

And they did. And it all started that week.


Liana, for all her matchmaking expertise, had tried to orchestrate this pairing twice before. One was somewhat successful, the other not so much. One morning, about a week, maybe (?), after the VBS encounter, she called and said she was taking some kids to Camp Tanako and would I like to come along for the ride. I wasn't working that day so I complied. Not thinking it was anything that special, I rolled out of bed, put on a wrinkled, flower-printed shirt that tied at the waist, a pair of rolled cut-offs, and most likely a pair of beat-up fake Birkenstocks. Hair in a ponytail. No makeup. 

Well, guess whose kid we're taking to Tanako??? That guy. Your Aunt Kaytea was going to Tanako, with Poppa Don and Aunt Cassie along for the ride, too. And a couple of other kids and their folks. One big happy group!

And me, dressed like a refugee from Woodstock.

Off to Hot Springs we went. I listened to musician road stories all the way there. The first time I heard the one about meeting Glenn Frey. Days of being a Coral Reefer. I was, of course, fascinated, being the frustrated musician I was at the time. After we left the camp, we went to the mall. I bought this pair of earrings:


From Claire's
And a manicure kit that had this mirror in it. 
From Dollar Tree

We had a late lunch at La Hacienda on Central Avenue. Still love their tomatillo sauce. I want to say Aunt Cassie spilled something. I could be wrong. I remember Poppa Don helping her out with the kid's menu. I did come away more curious about that guy, but I wasn't sure he was that impressed with me and my Salvation Army Chic wardrobe.

The next episode Liana instigated was a party at her house over on 8th Street, right across from Janssen Park. I was expecting that guy to be there and that was the only reason I went. I was in the middle of preparing my move to McGehee and didn't feel much like socializing even though I enjoyed the Sardhinas' company, but I went, dressed more appropriately this time: hair, makeup, the whole nine yards.

That guy didn't show. 

Bummer. I had a good time anyway, but no, he didn't show. Oh, well. Off to McGehee I would go. Another potential boyfriend scattered to the Four Winds, as usual.

Sidebar: Come to find out he'd made a date with someone else, but he ended up cancelling it. Couldn't find a babysitter, maybe? He'd also figured the rest of us were too young for him to hang out with, so, he didn't go. 

Anyway, back to the birthday party about six weeks later. Or after the birthday party, rather. I went home to prepare for the evening. Appropriate again, yet comfortable. I wore jeans and a blouse I'd bought at Penney's in the Greenville Mall when I went shopping for "teacher" clothes. He picked me up in that old gray Dodge pickup and again we were on the road to Hot Springs.

He asked where I'd like to have dinner, so I suggested Café New Orleans, downtown Central Avenue right across from the Arlington, where I'd worked years before. Only it wasn't Café New Orleans anymore. It was The Faded Rose. (As of this writing it's a Mexican place called Rolando's. Check out the picture, taken MANY years later). 

Outside Rolando's, used to be Faded Rose, used
to be Café New Orleans.

We sat at a tall table near the front window. I think we'd already been served our drink orders when Poppa Don pulled out his wallet and announced, "I have two older children," and proceeded to show me pictures of Uncle Dan and Aunt Tiffany.

I nearly fell off my stool.

Please remember that I had never been married or had children. I didn't really have any motherly instincts even pushing that close to age thirty. (Not really sure I have any at all, but we can save that discussion.) After the shock passed, we went on to have a lovely dinner. I should remember what I ate but I'm drawing a blank.

There wasn't really any place else to go, that I knew about, so we ended up spending the rest of the night at the bar at Applebee's, out by the mall. We talked and talked and talked, then drove back to Mena and talked some more. I remember thinking earlier in the day that if this didn't go well I wanted to be home in time to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000...luckily though, that wasn't necessary.

It went so well in fact that on the next night, he invited to dinner out at his house. He lived in a big log home out in Acorn, in the woods off County Road 76, and I was just glad I was able to find it. 
We had home-grilled ribs that night. More talking. No TV, or at least I don't remember there being a TV. He showed me around the house, and up the stairs to the loft area where his room was. The shelves along the side walls were lined with books, most of them science fiction and fantasy novels. I spotted some Star Wars...

Yep, I think this one's a keeper. 

The CD collection was rather sparse. Some country (Wade Hayes, Tim McGraw, Garth Brooks), but he had Greatest Hits by both Journey and The Eagles  And Cracked Rear View by Hottie & The Blowfish. That one ended up being played a lot in my presence. So I guess we can thank Darius Rucker for a successful beginning.



A fine, fine weekend. On Monday afternoon I drove back to McGehee, and just outside of Monticello, in the pouring rain, I topped a hill going too fast and drove my 1989 (?) gun-metal gray Pontiac Sunbird into this tree:


Large Tree
Good thing I hit the tree, because if I'd hit this pole:


Short Pole, made of steel
I probably wouldn't be telling you this story. 

I was okay. The car was toast. I couldn't go to work on Tuesday, and Mom had to drive over to check on me while I recovered. I don't remember if I called Poppa Don to tell him, or she did. The next weekend, that guy came over to McGehee to check on me. 

And the next weekend, and the weekend after that...mainly to teach me how to drive my new car, a Ford Ranger with a stick shift. I had no idea how to do that. He's pretty much been with me every weekend ever since. 

Twenty years is a long time, and there's a lot more to tell, which will be next year, when the wedding anniversary rolls around. So...you'll just have to wait for all those other details!




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